Why Cosleep?

Why cosleep?  What’s the big deal, and is it really going to ‘ruin’ children?  Well, as I deal with two kiddos with head colds right now I can definitely extol the benefits of cosleeping.  I personally don’t have the stamina to be up down up down all night long with children who have stuffy, runny noses and fevers. I don’t look forward to being woken up all night long tonight, as I have been for the last two nights, but at least the most I have to do is roll over or sit up to check on them.

So many parents swear up and down that they will never cosleep- apparently it is ‘giving in’ to one’s children- they need limits after all.  And it’s supremely dangerous, right?  And once you start THAT habit, you’ll never get them out. Then the seven pound breastfeeding machine who wants to party at the boob all night long arrives on that long-awaited day.  And suddenly, bedsharing seems like the miraculous solution to this problem!  That’s because it is.

Physically, arms-reach bedsharing offers very young infants a way to keep their immature nervous systems stabilized.  Research has shown that infants respond to their mothers’ heartbeat, breathing and sleep patterns.  They rouse from sleep more often to nurse, preventing the very deep sleep that increases the risk of SIDS.  Mothers are able to frequently check on their babies as often as they wake, even caring for them in half-sleep.  Infants that sleep out of contact with their mothers’ bodies spend more time in deep sleep, not having the biologically normal patterns of light sleep and waking.  The more frequent waking ensures that the infants nurse more and are able to keep the mothers’ milk production going and take in enough calories for their rapid growth.

Bedsharing continues to be a real help through growth spurts and teething, colds and those times when baby just doesn’t sleep for very long before waking.  All it takes is the time to wake half-way, roll over, and pop baby on the breast.  During the toddler years having mother right there every time the toddler wakes can be so helpful in creating secure attachment which will lead to a gradual development of healthy independence.

Do I worry that my children will never transition to their own beds?  No- I cannot conceive of that possibility.  I cannot conceive of the possibility that my breastfeeding two and a half year old will nurse forever either.  Some day these little girls will grow up and want their own space.  It won’t last forever and then this short time will be gone.  In the meantime, I am happy that we can share a bedroom as a family and reap its benefits.